Life Balance Counseling Blog

Navigating Trust Issues In Your Relationship

Trust is defined as a "belief in the reliability, ability, truth or strength of someone". Trust is the foundation in any relationship, whether its with friends, family or a significant other. When both of you understand and trust each other completely, it helps to eliminate any insecurities and future trust challenges that may come up in your relationship future. Trust can be difficult in any relationship to establish and more challenging when a partner has experienced trust issues in the past. Some of the reasons a partner may have trust issues is that you think your partner lies or you have caught them lying before. You may have trust issues if your partner has a history of cheating in their previous relationships, your partner is secretive, your partner flirts with others, your partner gets angry when you invade their private space, or you have been betrayed in the past.

Open communication is a helpful tool to help your partner understand what your thoughts and feelings are towards trust in a relationship. It is important to be open and honest so that if issues arise you will both know how to cope with them. Don't feel ashamed to share your concerns with your partner. How can you help your partner overcome their trust issues? Be open to discussing each others concerns with one another. Talk about what your daily lives look like and don't get caught up in lies because you think you are helping your partner if they don't know where you are going out to or with whom you are going out with. Your partner may not be happy with the truth but it can help you two work through each other's fears. It is also important to show your partner that you care and that you are there to support one another through these challenges. If one partner has struggled with trust in the past, they are going to need to feel reassured that you are not going to betray them. This process takes time, be patient!

How to get over your own trust issues? Getting over your own trust issues can be difficult. You may think, "why will this relationship be any different then the ones I had in the past". Maybe you wholeheartedly trusted your previous partner and they betrayed you. What you need to realize is that your current partner is a different person. You can't compare your partner to your previous partner, that is just not fair. One helpful tool is to think from your partner's perspective. What would you do if you were in their position? How can they help you gain trust? Ask your partner to help you by communicating with them your thoughts and feelings, even if they are irrational. Be open and talk to your partner, that is the only way you will work through your trust issues. When we withhold our thoughts and feelings we are sweeping it under the rug which can lead to anger, sadness, and resentment. Most importantly, be patient with one another and work towards the common goal of creating a trust foundation for your relationship. 

All of us are unique and have different needs. It is important in any relationship to be able to identify our individual needs are and be open in communicating them to your partner. People aren't psychic and don't just know what you need. Tell your partner what you need! The idea of a perfect relationship doesn't exist. Relationships take work and each partner needs to be willing to put in that work to have a successful relationship.