Understanding The Stages Of Grief & Loss

Grief and loss is a very difficult time for children, teens, adults and families. All people grieve differently and go through the stages of grief in a different order. Some people might not experience a specific emotion (anger or sadness) that they feel they should be feeling. Everyone grieves at their own pace and you have to let it run its course. Some people are re-triggered during certain times of the year (holidays),  by listening to a particular song, movie, or anything that reminds you of your loved one. It is okay to feel this way during these times. Just because it has been 5 years since a love one passed away, doesn't mean you shouldn't still go through phases where you grieve.

Being educated about the stages of grief can help you understand the emotions you are experiencing. What you are experiencing is very real and can be challenging to cope with at times. The goal is for you to be mindful about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing and learn the tools to help you healthfully manage your thoughts and feelings.

Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross)

1. Denial & Isolation: The first reaction is to isolate yourself and deny the fact that a love one has passed away. It is difficult to experience such deep emotions so our defense mechanism is to numb the pain by denying the reality of our loss.

2. Anger: As denial starts to wear off, some individuals may start to feel angry that the loved one is not around. They may feel angry at the deceased depending on their life's circumstances. It is okay to feel angry but you have to be able to identify when your anger is out of control and negatively impacting your life and relationships.

3. Bargaining: Feelings of helplessness and vulnerability start impacting our thoughts. We may think, "if we had gotten medical attention sooner then the person wouldn't be gone," or "if I was a better daughter, my dad wouldn't have passed away." Some individuals may try to make a deal with a higher power to bargain that they don't let your love one pass away or ask them to trade places with the deceased.

4. Depression: feelings of sadness and regrets in relation to the loss. Wishing you had more time with your loved one may cause feelings of sadness. Having moments of crying when thinking about your loved one is all a normal grief reaction.

5. Acceptance: reaching this stage is a blessing in the grieving process. Not everyone reaches this stage and may get stuck in the denial, anger or depression stages. Death can be one of the most challenging things to accept. Accepting that your loved one is gone comes with various emotions. Some people feel guilty that they have accepted the death. The goal of the grieving process is to keep the good memories of the deceased alive.

Coping with loss varies for each individual and is a difficult process. Reach out to your family and friends if you need their support. If you feel like you are struggling with grief and loss challenges, Life Balance Counseling in Schaumburg can help. To learn more information about grief counseling, click here. Please call our office at 888.234.7628.

Life Balance Counseling: Meet Our Staff

Life Balance Counseling in Schaumburg has expanded its team. Our team brings a wealth of experience and specializations in Anxiety Disorders, ADD/ADHD, Children, Teens, Chronic Illness, Emotional Eating, Grief and Loss, Mood disorders, Obesity/Weight loss, and Parenting. We also offer counseling in both English and Spanish. Please check out our team's bios.

Jennifer Budruweit, MA, LCPC, GC-C
Jennifer specializes in children, adolescents and families who are experiencing various challenges and has extensive experience treating anxiety, chronic illness, grief and loss. As a Certified Grief Counselor, Jennifer understands how difficult it can be working through the stages of grief and can help you process your experience and teach you tools to help you cope during this challenging time. 

Darley Giraldo, MA, LCPC
Darley has extensive experience working with children, adolescents, and adults with depression, bipolar, anxiety, ADD/ADHD, and complex behavior problems. He has worked successfully with parents in order to help them create structure and discipline to improve family life and children and parent relationships. 

Lauren Buetikofer, MA, LPC
Lauren specializes in eating disorders, emotional eating, obesity and weight loss. Lauren also has extensive experience working with adolescents and adults experiencing anxiety disorders and depression.

Lana Rukavina, MA, LPC
Lana specializes in perinatal/postpartum, couples/marriage and sports performance. Lana also has extensive experience working with individuals facing anxiety and depression challenges.

For more information about Life Balance Counseling in Schaumburg or to schedule an appointment with one of our counselors, please call 888.234.7628, send us an email at info@lbcounseling.com, or contact us online at lbcounseling.com
 

Pet Loss: How To Help Your Child Cope With Grief

Losing a loved one is a challenging experience for adults and often times can be very confusing for children because they are unsure of the various emotions they are experiencing. The loss of a pet may be your child's first experience with grief and is a great opportunity for parents to teach their child/children healthy ways to cope with grief.

A child may feel confused, sad, angry, or guilty and blame themselves for their pets death. A child may feel scared that other people or animals they love may leave them and may feel anxious or worried. Some parents feel they need to protect their child/children from experiencing their feelings. Parents may tell their child that the pet ran away or went to sleep to make their child feel better. Tell your child in an age appropriate manner of what happened to the family pet and help them learn to cope with their thoughts an feelings during this confusing time. It is better to be honest with children and allow them to experience grief in their own way with your guidance.

When it comes to the loss of a family pet, how do we help children cope with their thoughts and feelings?

• Parents need to express their own grief and loss of the pet. Don't hide your own thoughts and feelings towards the loss of your pet. Model your thoughts and feelings and the healthy ways you cope with grief. 
• Let your child express their grief. Let your child feel their emotions and offer them support and guidance during the process. Don't tell them not to cry. It is okay if they feel the need to cry.
• Educate your child about grief and loss and reassure your child. Help your child understand that the death of their pet was not their fault. Reassure them that other people they love are not going to die and talk to them about their feelings and concerns.
• Allow your child/children to be a part of the memorial for the pet. This helps the child/children learn about closure and honoring the pet. This will help the child process their thoughts and feelings towards their loss.
• Have your child write a letter or draw a picture for their pet. This is a helpful way for your child to say their goodbyes and get their feelings out about their loss.

If you feel like your child/children is struggling with their thoughts and feelings in relation to a pet loss, contact a Licensed Counselor and discuss ways to help your child cope with their loss. 
At Life Balance Counseling in Schaumburg we have a Certified Grief Counselor that can help. Feel free to contact us at 888.234.7628 for any help and guidance.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

As the days get darker in fall and winter time, some individuals may experience Seasonal Affective Disorder. SAD is a mood disorder that is associated with seasonal changes. If an individual is experiencing seasonal Affective Disorder, they may experience symptoms of depression, fatigue, irritability, social avoidance, changes in sleep and eating patterns.

You may be thinking, what can I do to improve my symptoms as the seasons continue to change and the days get shorter and darker? It is important to be aware of the symptoms you are experiencing and get the help you need. If you are experiencing depression symptoms that are impacting your daily functioning, seek professional mental health help.

There are somethings you can do that may help relieve your SAD symptoms. Increase your daily exercise, maintain a healthy diet and make sure to get enough sleep. If you don't feel like your symptoms are getting any better and feel like you are stuck in a state of depression, seek a mental health professional that can help provide you with the tools to help you cope with sadness, social avoidance, and sleep issues. Some other options for treatment of SAD is light therapy which helps because during the fall and winter seasons we don't experience much sunlight. You may seek the help of a psychiatrist that may prescribe you an antidepressant based on the symptoms you are experiencing.

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." -Anthony D'Angelo