Setting Boundaries During A Pandemic

One of the most critical aspects of any relationship is setting boundaries. Boundaries are guidelines, rules, or limits that are tools to clarify how we want to be treated and how you want others to behave around you. Boundaries exist in multiple ways, including emotionally, physically, financially, and sexually. The benefits of setting boundaries are endless, including ensuring your needs are met, fewer arguments, reducing resentment, and having the time and energy to partake in self-care behaviors. Setting these boundaries is often challenging to do, and in our current pandemic, it has become more challenging. But, if we fail to set these boundaries, the result is often us feeling mistreated or used, negatively impacting our overall well-being. 

As our everyday routines and patterns have been significantly interrupted by the pandemic, so have our rules and limits we once set. For example, our work boundaries have become blurry as most of us are still working from home and will be doing so for the foreseeable future, which has caused many challenges, such as never detaching from our work. Before the pandemic, we could go to our offices and come home to an environment that was purely for relaxing and enjoyment. Whereas now, our workspace and relaxation space has merged, making it difficult to ‘turn off” either of these modes.  

We also have experienced trying to set boundaries about issues most of us have never dealt with before. For example, we must determine who we are comfortable seeing in person. If we require those, who come into our homes to wear masks. If our children should go to school in person and even if we set a limit on the amount of time, we engage with information that is related to COVID. 

Setting boundaries can take place in three simple steps. First, we must assess and define what our needs are because if we are unsure of what we need, it will be impossible to communicate this to others. It is important to note that our needs include our emotional needs, such as feeling loved, happy, and at peace. When assessing this, it is often useful to think about what boundaries currently exist and how they can be improved or altered. 

After defining what is important to us, we must effectively communicate this to others. To effectively communicate our needs, we must state them in a clear and concise manner, so there is no confusion or misunderstanding. While communicating, we should be thoughtful and calm and be aware of our body language. We should not over explain these boundaries as everyone has the right to determine what they do and what they do not do, and this should be respected.

The last step in setting boundaries is setting consequences. Setting consequences for the violation of these boundaries is one way in which we can pave the path for a positive outcome. By setting consequences, an individual will have a clear understanding of what will happen if they do not respect the boundaries we have made. If you are having difficulty setting boundaries with loved ones during this pandemic, please be sure to reach out to a mental health professional. Therapists at Life Balance Counseling are currently offering telehealth sessions, phone sessions, and in-person sessions with extra precautions. 

By: Mary Collins, LPC, CADC